Back to School

So I am headed back to school in about 3 weeks...and to be honest I couldn't be less excited if I were to get a major surgery...I'm not really sure why but I am really unhappy. I just want to be home doing what I love and not at school doing something I no longer truly enjoy. If I could turn back time to this exact month 2 years ago...I would change my major...It feels very strange writing that out because I have been holding it in my head for so long. I have shared these thought with my parents and they don't really have any thoughts on it. Mostly because of the money and how much I am paying to go to school where I go. It would be totally impossible to go back and change my career path now because it would mean that everything I have done in the past 2 years would be vanished basically because the credits wouldn't transfer. Which sucks big time because I just really don't want to go back for another year. I know I only have 1 year left and I know how lucky I am to only have a 3 year program instead of a 4 but still...I cant seem to fill this void I have inside me that I myself cant even place what is the root of the cause of it but I really hope I find out soon. I just want to learn who I am so I can know where I want to go and who I want to become.

I feel like the only time I am happy is when I am doing what I love most...which does not include dancing anymore...I am so ashamed and disappointed to say that but its true. And I feel like this is the first time I have been true to myself in a long time. I still have a long way to go but maybe this is the start of something....something that will maybe eventually lead me to what I am really looking for...